


Jokes On You

by NatureTree



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Shiro (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Demisexual Hunk (Voltron), Demisexual Keith (Voltron), Demisexual Shiro (Voltron), Domestic Fluff, Epic Friendship, Fluff, Friendship, Gay Coran (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Matt Holt, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homosexuality, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Other, Pansexual Allura (Voltron), Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, gay pidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15639354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatureTree/pseuds/NatureTree
Summary: [Because there are never too many chatfics for the Voltron geeks.]Quorn:Name's Coran the fantastic.Mccullacutty:don't u mean coran coran the gorgeous man!pidge podge:well i guess corans moustache is impressiveMusselman:his moustache is probably sentientDDADDS:Coran is the most beautiful one is this chat.Patallmatts:uhhhnopidge podge:uhhhyaMccullacutty:okay i know im hot but matt plscoran was prob a greek god in his past life





	1. The Rise Of Skewl

**[pidge podge created** LMM **]**

 **[pidge podge added Mccullacutty, Musselman, DDADDS and pattallmatts to** LMM **]**

**[21.08 P.M]**

**pidge podge:**

oh hello my amigos

what ya doing on this fine tuesday afternoon?

 

**Mccullacutty:**

pidge dont use spanish ya white gremlin

 

**pidge podge:**

RASCISM!

 

**Musselman:**

is it even possible do be racist towards white people?

 

**pidge podge:**

**not what i meant but probably**

what i meant was

DONT BE RACIST TOWARDS GRRMLINS

LANCE

 

**Mccullacutty:**

oh?

i thought gremlins didnt possess feelings

 

**DDADDS:**

Oh look, Lance used a remotely difficult word.

 

**pidge podge:**

roasted by the dad

how does it feel lance?

 

**DDADDS:**

Pidge, what's with my name?

 

**pidge podge:**

nice of you to ask shiro.

there is a game called DDADDS.

 

**Mccullacutty:**

i heard DDADDS and i came.

 

**Musselman:**

I hope you meant in the non-sexual way.

 

**Mccullacutty:**

no

i got aroused by the word DDADDS

 

**patallmatts:**

i would've been concerned if i weren't the same.

 

**Mccullacutty:**

uhm

i were

joking

 

**patallmatts:**

oh

 

**Musselman:**

Aaaaawkward.

 

**patallmatts:**

i were joking too

of course

 

**pidge podge:**

i am ashamed of being related to you

 

**DDADDS:**

So, is there a reason for this group chat Pidge?

 

**pidge podge:**

of course.

who do you think i am?

WHAT do you think i am?

a hulligan?

 

**DDADDS:**

Do you want me to answer that?

 

**pidge podge:**

...

no.

 

**Mccullacutty:**

hah!

what does it feel like to be roasted by dad?!

 

**pidge podge:**

no

also, the reason for this groupchat of our is that i needed somewhere to rant you need it too

 

**patallmatts:**

how did ya kno young lady?

 

**pidge podge:**

im not stupid like some people here

 

**Mccullacutty:**

ouch

 

**Musselman:**

She didn't ven say your name.

 

**Mccullacutty:**

no, but it was insinuated

 

**DDADDS:**

Oh, look.

One more relatively difficuly word Lance used.

 

**pidge podge:**

wow

daddy is a whole salt bowl

 

**Mccullacutty:**

respect is only a dream i can dream of

 

**patallmatts:**

ikr

 

**Mccullacutty:**

we are the comic relief characters arent we?

 

**patallmatts:**

we definitely are.

 

**Musselman:**

So, either way.

Was there something on your mind Pidge?

 

**pidge podge:**

no

but i made the groupchat in case any of us have

 

**DDADDS:**

She's right.

It's not good to keep things in.

 

**patallmatts:**

i get it daddy you're worried

**Mccullacutty:**

awww

daddy worries about us

 

**DDADDS:**

Suddenly I don't anymore.

**Musselman:**

Pidge, I need help with my computer by the way.

Can you come over later?

 

**pidge podge.**

sure

just wait for ten

 

**Musselman:**

Got it.

 

**patallmatts:**

i'm being ignored

 

**Mccullacutty:**

i get the feeling buddy

i get it

 

**patallmatts:**

oh by the way

lance i saw this hooooot dude yesterday

 

**Mccullacutty:**

oooohhhh

describe him

 

**DDADDS:**

...

 

**Mccullacutty:**

oh come on daddy you know u want to have a mental pic

 

**DDADDS:**

...

 

**Mccullacutty:**

you know u want it~

 

**DDADDS:**

...

 

**patallmatts:**

the dark side has hot guys!

 

**DDADDS:**

...

 

**Mccullacutty:**

i can feel his resolve sinking!

more matt!

more!

 

**patallmatts:**

and a gym!

 

**DDADDS:**

...

 

**patallmatts:**

and

 

**Mccullacutty:**

and cookies!

 

**DDADDS:**

Euuughhh

 

**patallmatts:**

oh

and we have coffee!

 

**Mccullacutty:**

aaand dogs and cats!

 

**DDADDS:**

FINE!

What did he look like?!

 

**patallmatts:**

§ԾᴗԾ§

the dark side is glad to have you here mr. daddy sir

 

**DDADDS:**

I already regret this.


	2. Hot People And Awkward Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  Lanceypantsy:  
> soooo  
> hot?
>> 
>> Mattchiato:  
> oh yeah  
> he was like the bad boy stereotype but awkward  
> so adorably awkward¨  
> you will not believe it
>> 
>> Shirts:  
> Did you talk to him?
>> 
>> Mattchiato:  
> sure did  
> 

**[patallmatts created** 'MmMMMm DADDY' **]**

**[patallmatts added mccullacutty and DDADDS to** 'MmMMMm DADDY' **]**

**[patallmatts changed their name to Mattchiato]**

**[Mattchiato changed mccullacutty's name to Lanceypantsy]**

**[Mattchiato changed DDADDS name to Shirts]**

 

**[23.15 P.M]**

 

**Mattchiato:**

okay so anyone wanna hear about the hotty i saw?

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

of course ;)

 

**Shirts:**

I'm disappointed.

I though you knew better than to have a daddy kink.

 

**Mattchiato:**

of course i didn't ;)

 

**Shirts:**

ヽ(　￣д￣;)ノ

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

stop your flirting

I WanteD to HeAR about a HOT DuDE!!!

 

**Mattchiato:**

oh right

so i had decided to go on a walk early yesterday and it paid off.

i had walked so far that i was so tired and i even saw a squirrel playing dead like legitimately playing dead while a dog was sniffing it it was hilarious

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

soooo

hot?

 

**Mattchiato:**

oh yeah

he was like the bad boy stereotype but awkward

so adorably awkward

you will not believe it

 

**Shirts:**

So did you talk to him?

 

**Mattchiato:**

sure did

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

i want details

 

**Mattchiato:**

living through me huh? ;)

either way i walked to this coffee shop called The Castle Of Lions.

 

**Shirts:**

Wow.

Capitalization.

Was he really that hot?

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

or was the coffee just that good?

 

**Mattchiato:**

both

bUT LET ME TELL da STORY NOW YOU NERDS

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

fine

calm yo ass

 

**Shirts:**

What was with the coffee shop?

 

**Mattchiato:**

well the coffee shop legitimately had lion statues outside of it and had a beautiful garden so of course i had to go in and you won't believe how popular it is.

anyways, i walked up to the counter to order and the one behind the counter was just gorgeous

he had black hair, dark like the night sky without stars and it was more on the longer side, he was rather short though and definitely asian. super hot.

he had a rather angular face not as much as you lance though.

he was pale and it was such a beautiful contrast to his hair and his eyebrows, ohhh man they're even better than yours lance and you trim yours.

they were thick but in the good way.

he had big eyes and they actually looked purple like genuinely like they were filled with galaxies and there were a few grey hints that made them even more beautiful.

instead of a boring grey it was silver and it made it look like he had stars in his eyes and in some lights his eyes looked more indigo or dark blue or even violet. so beautiful.

they are framed by long thick lashes, like legitmately i would allow him to stab me with those eyelashes and he also had plush lips.

he had high cheek bones and his jaw could probably cut my finger, so sharp and you chould have seen his chin. so sharp too and i would love to kiss the freckles on his cheeks.

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

what are you?

a fanfiction writer?

 

**Mattchiato:**

that was just his face.

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

oh damn

you got to see his bod?

 

**Mattchiato:**

you bet

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

go on!

 

**Mattchiato:**

when he stepped away from the counter after i ordered and i may of have stared at him for so long the one behind me were coughing not-so subtly.

so he was thicc. his thighs were god-like and he was muscular not like shiro but more lean like lance. but he was short and buff like a beef. a nice waist too, and chest.

he didn't have super broad shoulders but they were a little broader than what you would think a college student would have.

but his outfit was what did it for me.

he had grey skinny jeans and black dress shoes and a red and white shirt, long-sleeved and it was striped the whole shirt, the top was red and the bet thing was his glasses.

black frames and he looked like a nerd but then his black-leather finger-less gloves gave the impression of a bad-boy and also that i swear he was wearing eye-liner.

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

ohhhh

youve got the hots for him?

 

**Mattchiato:**

maybe

i mean he was adorable when i was flirting with him

he didn't even notice it and was just so awkward.

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

i wanna meet him

 

**Shirts:**

I

I think

 

**Lanceypantsy:**

you think what?

 

**Mattchiato:**

i think we broke him

 

**[Takashit > Keef]**

 

**[23:32 P.M]**

 

**Takashit:**

U worked today, right?

 

**Keef:**

yea i did.

 

**Takashit:**

Were there a short ginger man bout ur age there and flirting with u?

 

**Keef:**

yea

 

**Takashit:**

His name then?

 

**Keef:**

"Matthew but call me Matt."

 

**Takashit:**

Gr8

 

**Keef:**

friend?

 

**Takashit:**

yup.

 

**Keef:**

awkward

 

**Takashit:**

V awkward.

 

**Keef:**

pretend this never happened?

 

**Takashit.**

Sure.

 

**Keef:**

great

 

 


	3. Shiro's Dear Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  DDADDS:  
> So, I wondered if I could add some people here?
>> 
>> patallmatts:  
> who?
>> 
>> mccullacutty:  
> exactly who?
>> 
>> DDADDS:  
> Two very dear people to me.
>> 
>> pidge podge:  
> oh shit  
> boyfriends girlfriends  
> boyfriend AND girlfriend???  
> 

**[** LMM **]**

**[02.19 A.M]**

 

**mccullacutty:**

what does lmm even mean?

like what?

 

**pidge podge:**

it is an acronym but i forgot for what

 

**mccullacutty:**

you mean to say that you made up an acronym and forgot what it was for?

 

**pidge podge:**

that is what i mean to say, yes

 

**patallmatts:**

doesn't there have to be a vowel somewhere there?

 

**pidge podge:**

...

no

 

**Musselman:**

What are you all doing up?

It's Wednesday

We have school tomorrow.

 

**mccullacutty:**

what are YOU doing up huh?

 

**Musselman:**

You woke me up with the notifications.

 

**pidge podge:**

oh sorry hunk

 

**Musselman:**

No worries, I'm not mad or anything.

 

**patallmatts:**

you can just turn on the notfis thou

 

**Musselman:**

Tru.

Goodnight and I think I will do that.

 

**mccullacutty:**

night big man!

now what shall we do pidge?

 

**pidge podge:**

（；￣︶￣）

 

**mccullacutty:**

???

 

**patallmatts:**

pidge

 

**pidge podge:**

i just noticed that you had been talking about a hot guy

you didn't do it in this chat so

 

**mccullacutty:**

well you are a bit too young

 

**patallmatts:**

we have to keep this chat pg or else daddy will be mad

 

**mccullacutty:**

so disappointed

 

**patallmatts:**

many exasperated

 

**pidge podge:**

okay

just shut up!

does memes are long dead

 

**mccullacutty:**

gasp

 

**patallmatts:**

the audacity!

 

**mccullacutty:**

your sister is a traitor

 

**patallmatts:**

i never wanted to do this

i'm so sorry, katie

:: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) ::

but i have no choice

 

**mccullacutty:**

just get this over with matt

 

**patallmatts:**

[ahhhhhhh](https://youtu.be/76Y3RquEmBk?t=53s)

 

**pidge podge:**

...

[凸ಠ益ಠ)凸](https://youtu.be/76Y3RquEmBk?t=1m26s)

 

**patallmatts:**

the audacity!!!

 

**mccullacutty:**

[:)](https://youtu.be/7YQ7xGEVMaw?t=1m45s)

 

**pidge podge:**

i know i have legs of steel but lance

poor lance

im gayce

 

**mccullacutty:**

that was not the point!!!

 

**patallmatts:**

lance give up

there's no talking with er

she won't give up

 

**mccullacutty:**

youre right

we must...

 

**patallmatts:**

tickle

 

**[08.42 A.M]**

 

**Musselman:**

Sometimes I'm concerned.

 

**[16.26 P.M]**

 

**DDADDS:**

So, I wondered if I could add some people here?

 

**patallmatts:**

who?

 

**mccullacutty:**

exactly who?

 

**DDADDS:**

Two very dear people to me.

 

**pidge podge:**

oh shit

boyfriends girlfriends

boyfriend AND girlfriend???

 

**patallmatts:**

why didn't you tell me?

we've been best buddies since second grade!!!

i've been betrayed not only by my sister

but also by who i thought was my friend!

 

**DDADDS:**

...

 

**patallmatts:**

what is this pain?

why does it hurt so?

 

**DDADDS:**

My brother and his co-worker.

 

**patallmatts:**

oh.

 

**mccullacutty:**

by all means invite them!

who may they be?

attractive?

 

**pidge podge:**

do you HAVE to hit on everything on two legs?

 

**mccullacutty:**

no.

i havent hit on you

 

**pidge podge:**

for your own safety.

 

**DDADDS:**

Thanks.

 

 

 

**pidge podge:**

just add them

 

**DDADDS:**

Will do.

 

**Musselman:**

So, I'm guessing we must introduce each other then?

 

**pidge podge:**

probably

you'll start

you're the warm one of us

the mom friend if you may

 

**mccullacutty:**

everybody loves you

if they dont theyre probs evil

 

**DDADDS:**

True.

**pidge podge:**

what you doing?

add them already you nutjob!

 

**mccullacutty:**

don't talk to daddy like that!

 

**Musselman:**

I were going to say thanks but,

Shiro don't leave them.

Unsupervised.

 

 **[DDADDS added pantastic and Skeithless to** 'LMM' **]**

 

**DDADDS:**

Never crossed my mind.

 

**Musselman:**

Good. I don't want to worry more than necessary.

Either way.

I'm Hunk Garret, eighteen and I'm a major in Culinary arts. I'm Pansexual and cis-gender male. My Hogwarts house is Hufflepuff and I'm a Capricorn.

 

**DDADDS:**

Wow, that was quite a long introduction.

 

**Musselman:**

Sorry, was it too much?

 

**pantastic:**

No, no, no!

it was perfect!

i'm Allura by the way and i'm 21 and i major in psychology and work part-time at a café. I'm also pansexual, as you may have guessed, and i'm cis-gender female, my hogwarts house is Gryffindor and i'm a Virgo.

 

**Musselman:**

Great to meet you, Allura!  


**pantastic:**

Likewise!

 

**patallmatts:**

my turn!

name's Matthew but i prefer matt, really. i'm twenty and i major in astrology and i work part time at my father's repair shop. i'm gay and cisgender male my hogwarts house is ravenclaw and i'm a Pisces.

 

**mccullacutty:**

Lance McClain is the name and i'm eighteen like hunk, my buddy, i major in both Marine Biology and Psychology. i'm bi and single as a pringle ;) cisgender male and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw fuck you pidge and i'm a leo!

 

**pidge podge:**

just because of that i'm going next

katie but call me pidge for your own safety, i'm sixteen but shut your fuck i'm smarter than all of you combined. i major in robotics and mathematics. im gayce and i accept only female pronouns hogwarts house is slytherclaw and im an aries

 

**pantastic:**

Wow.

you sure are fierce like an aries i must say

nice to meet you all.

 

**patallmatts:**

shouldn't shiro introduce himself?

 

**Musselman:**

Nah. We all now him it seems.

 

**mccullacutty:**

wait up! i wanna hear anyway plus we haven't heard from our other new-comer.

 

**Skeithless:**

Do i have to?

 

**DDADDS:**

Yes.

I'll go first if it makes you feel better.

 

**pidge podge:**

shiro?

you okay?

five minutes is a long time to introduce yourself.

 

**DDADDS:**

I'm fine!

My name is Takashi Shirogane as you all know, I'm twenty-four and i majored in astrology. I'm biromantic and cis male, my hogwarts house is Hufflepuff and I'm a Pisces too.

 

**Skeithless:**

Keith and i'm eighteen and major in Arts and Education. My hogwarts house is Slytherdor and i'm a Scorpio.

 

**mccullacutty:**

a man of few words, i see

you are male right?

 

**DDADDS:**

My brother is male, yes.

 

**Skeithless:**

Do I have to be here?

 

**DDADDS:**

Yes.

But I understand your desire to leave.

 

**Skeithless:**

Stop being so freaking formal with me, Shiro.

 

**patallmatts:**

oh damn

btw are you hot?

 

**Skeithless:**

Me?  


**patallmatts:**

yea

 

**Skeithless:**

I don't know...

 

**DDADDS:**

He isn't unattractive I can say.

 

**Musselman:**

Probably in the genes.

 

**patallmatts:**

probably.

 

**pantastic:**

Honestly Keith is quite attractive and if we only went by appearance I would probably date him but he ain't my type.

 

**patallmatts:**

does that mean i have a chance?

 

**DDADDS:**

Sure.

 

**pantastic:**

Why not?

 

**patallmatts:**

so, keith

 

**Skeithless:**

No.

 

**mccullacutty:**

hah!

not even a chance!

 

**patallmatts:**

fuck you lance.

 

**mccullacutty:**

matt!

take me out to dinner first!

 

**patallmatts:**

pidge can you get rid of him?

 

**pidge podge:**

sure

why?

 

**patallmatts:**

he's making fun of me

 

**pidge podge:**

oh

poor you

 

**Musselman:**

So, nice to meet you Keith!

 

**DDADDS:**

This was interesting.

Anyways, Keith I can see you, you're not being sneaky.

 

**pantastic:**

What?

 

**DDADDS:**

He's climbing the fridge to reach the candy I bought.

 

**mccullacutty:**

oh is he short!?

 

**pantastic:**

You betcha he is.

 

**pidge podge:**

yea

i'm not the onl ý gremlin anymore ya fuckers!

 

**DDADDS:**

Oh Pidge.

You're the only Gremlin in our hearts.

 

**pidge podge:**

fuck you

 

**DDADDS:**

(๑ơ ₃ ơ)♥

 


	4. Signs And Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  pantastic:  
> We go with pisces first!  
> who were pisces again?  
> it was only matt and shiro right?
>> 
>> patallmatts:  
> yup!
>> 
>> pantastic:  
> Okay!  
> then i'll take aries!  
> get ready this'll be an adventure!  
> ;)  
> 

**[** 'LMM' **]**

 

**[12.23 P.M]**

 

**mccullacutty:**

so, who likes to play games here?

becayse like i love it

 

**patallmatts:**

WHO doesn't like it?

 

**Musselman:**

What game are we talking about?

 

**pidge podge:**

one...

two...

three...

 

**mccullacutty:**

duh

all of em

 

**pantastic:**

I have a question!

 

**mccullacutty:**

bout games?

 

**pantastic:**

No.

who are interested in astrology?

 

**DDADDS:**

One...

 

**pantastic:**

(⌯⌅⌄⌅)

Two...

 

**DDADDS:**

Three...

 

**Skeitless:**

୧( ॑ധ ॑)୨

 

**DDADDS:**

I should learn from you Allura.

 

**pantastic:**

ヾ( 〃ω〃)ｯ

I work with him almost every weekend

if anything i should know

how to summon him

 

**DDADDS:**

True.

 

**pidge podge:**

'kay lovebirds stop flirting

 

 **[patallmatts changed the groupchat's name to** 'alluring and allurable' **]**

 

**patallmatts:**

"two very dear people to me."

now i see why you called your brother's co-worker 'dear'

 

**pidge podge:**

(๑°o°๑)

 

**pantastic:**

We got with pisces first!

who were pisces again?

it was only matt and shiro right?

 

**patallmatts:**

yup!

 

**pantastic:**

Okay!

then i'll take aries!

get ready this'll be an adventure!

;)

 

**Skeithless:**

Get on with it already, 'Llura.

 

**pantastic:**

Ay, ay captain'!

@shirothehero @mattastic

Element: water Qualiy: mutable Colour: muave, lilac, purple, violet, sea green Day: thursday Ruler; neptune, jupiter Greatest Overall Compatibility: virgo, taurus Lucky Numbers: 3, 9 12, 15, 24 Date Range: February 19 - March 20

Pisces are very friendly, so they often find themselves in a company of very different people. Pisces are selfless, they are always willing to help others, without hoping to get anything back. Pisces is a Water sign and as such this zodiac sign is characterized by empathy and expressed emotional capacity. Their ruling planet is Neptune, so Pisces are more intuitive than others and have an artistic talent. Neptune is connected to music, so Pisces reveal music preferences in the earliest stages of life. They are generous, compassionate and extremely faithful and caring.

People born under the Pisces sign have an intuitive understanding of the life cycle and thus achieve the best emotional relationship with other beings. Pisces-born are known by their wisdom, but under the influence of Uranus, Pisces sometimes can take the role of a martyr, in order to catch the attention. Pisces are never judgmental and always forgiving. They are also known to be most tolerant of all the zodiac signs.

 

**Musselman:**

Just a question.

 

**pantastic:**

Yeah?

 

**Musselman:**

Did you just count that all off your mind

Like you have it all remembered?

 

**pantastic:**

Oh, no, no, not at all.

i just have the sites with all the information bookmarked so i can find them whenever.

i just copied it.

 

**Musselman:**

Oh, okay.

That's less impressive.

Like it's still impressive of course!!!

 

**pantastic:**

No offense taken.

 

**Musselman:**

Phew.

 

**pantastic:**

@legsofsteel

Element: fire Quality: cardinal Colour: red Day: tuesday Ruler: mars Greatest Overall Compatibility: Libra, Leo Lucky Numbers: 1, 8, 17 Date Range: March 21 - April 19

As the first sign in the zodiac, the presence of Aries always marks the beginning of something energetic and turbulent. They are continuously looking for dynamic, speed and competition, always being the first in everything - from work to social gatherings. Thanks to its ruling planet [Mars](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/astrology/planets/mars/) and the fact it belongs to the element of [Fire](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/astrology/elements/fire/) (just like [Leo](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/leo/) and [Sagittarius](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/sagittarius/)), Aries is one of the most active zodiac signs. It is in their nature to take action, sometimes before they think about it well.

The Sun in such high dignity gives them excellent organizational skills, so you'll rarely meet an Aries who isn't capable of finishing several things at once, often before lunch break! Their challenges show when they get impatient, aggressive and vent anger pointing it to other people. Strong personalities born under this sign have a task to fight for their goals, embracing togetherness and teamwork through this incarnation. Aries rules the head and leads with the head, often literally walking head first, leaning forwards for speed and focus. Its representatives are naturally brave and rarely afraid of trial and risk. They possess youthful strength and energy, regardless of their age and quickly perform any given tasks.

Aries - the Flying Ram Guided by the story of the Golden Fleece, an Aries is ready to be the hero of the day, fly away and carry many endangered, powerless people on their back. The power of the ram is carried on his back, for he is the gold itself, shiny and attractive to those ready for betrayal. The story of glory that isn't easy to carry is in these two horns, and if this animal doesn't get shorn, allowing change and giving someone a warm sweater, they won't have much to receive from the world. Each Aries has a task to share their position, power, gold, or physical strength with other people willingly, or the energy will be stopped in its natural flow, fear will take over, and the process of giving and receiving will hold balance at zero.

 

**Skeithless:**

Who now?

 

**pantastic:**

@trashcan

Element: fire Quality: fixed Colour: gold, yellow, orange Day: sunday Ruler: sun Greatest Overall Compatibility: Aquarius, Gemini Lucky Numbers: 1, 3, 10, 19 Date Range: July 23 - August 22

People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their "king of the jungle" status. Leo often has many friends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier.

Leo belongs to the [element of Fire](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/astrology/elements/fire/), just like [Aries](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/aries/) and [Sagittarius](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/sagittarius/). This makes them warmhearted, in love with life, trying to laugh and have a good time. Able to use their mind to solve even the most difficult problems, they will easily take initiative in resolving various complicated situations. Ruled by the [Sun](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/astrology/planets/sun/), Leo worships this fiery entity in the sky, quite literally as well as metaphorically. They are in search for self-awareness and in constant growth of ego. Aware of their desires and personality, they can easily ask for everything they need, but could just as easily unconsciously neglect the needs of other people in their chase for personal gain or status. When a Leo representative becomes too fond and attached to their achievements and the way other people see them, they become an easy target, ready to be taken down.

Leo - the Lion in the Cave The story of the Lion always speaks of bravery. This is an animal fearless and impossible to challenge, hurt or destroy, their only weaknesses being fear and aggression towards those they confront. Living in a cave, a Lion always needs to have one, nesting and finding comfort in hard times. However, they should never stay there for long. With their head high, they have to face others with dignity and respect, never raising a voice, a hand, or a weapon, bravely walking through the forest they rule.

 

**mccullacutty:**

oh shit

i dont know if my adhd can read all this...

 

**pantastic:**

Oh!

should i have made them into smaller paragraphs?

 

**mccullacutty:**

no no!

its fine

 

**pantastic:**

Okay then.

still, i'm sorry

 

**mccullacutty:**

no need to be sorry

you didnt even kno i have adhd

 

**pantastic:**

Sure

if you say so

 

**mccullacutty:**

i say so

:)

 

**pantastic:**

:)

@imatotaltrashmammal

love your name btw

Element: water Quality: fixed Colour: scarlet, red, rust Day: tuesday Ruler: pluto, mars Greatest Overall Compatibility: taurus, cancer Lucky Numbers: 8, 11, 18, 22 Date Range: October 23 - November 21

Scorpio-born are passionate and assertive people. They are determined and decisive, and will research until they find out the truth. Scorpio is a great leader, always aware of the situation and also features prominently in resourcefulness. Scorpio is a Water sign and lives to experience and express emotions. Although emotions are very important for Scorpio, they manifest them differently than other water signs. In any case, you can be sure that the Scorpio will keep your secrets, whatever they may be.

Pluto is the planet of transformation and regeneration, and also the ruler of this zodiac sign. Scorpios are known by their calm and cool behavior, and by their mysterious appearance. People often say that Scorpio-born are fierce, probably because they understand very well the rules of the universe. Some Scorpio-born can look older than they actually are. They are excellent leaders because they are very dedicated to what they do. Scorpios hate dishonesty and they can be very jealous and suspicious, so they need to learn how to adapt more easily to different human behaviors. Scorpios are brave and therefore they have a lot of friends.

 

**DDADDS:**

What about yours, Allura?

 

**pantastic:**

Oh, I already know that.

 

**pidge podge:**

yeah but WE want to know

 

**pantastic:**

Really?

 

**mccullacutty:**

yeah!

were friends now!

 

**pantastic:**

oh.

okay then.

Element: earth Quality: mutable Colour: grey, beige, pale-yellow Day: wednesday Ruler: mercury Greatest Overall Compatibility: pisces, cancer Lucky Numbers: 5, 14, 15, 23, 32 Date Range: August 23 - September 22

Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful signs of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance, and although they are often tender, their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express, but because they won’t accept their feelings as valid, true, or even relevant when opposed to reason. The symbolism behind the name speaks well of their nature, born with a feeling they are experiencing everything for the first time.

Virgo is an [Earth sign](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/astrology/elements/earth/), fitting perfectly between [Taurus](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/taurus/) and [Capricorn](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/capricorn/). This will lead to a strong character, but one that prefers conservative, well-organized things and a lot of practicality in their everyday life. These individuals have an organized life, and even when they let go to chaos, their goals and dreams still have strictly defined borders in their mind. Constantly worried that they missed a detail that will be impossible to fix, they can get stuck in details, becoming overly critical and concerned about matters that nobody else seems to care much about. Since [Mercury](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/astrology/planets/mercury/) is the ruling planet of this sign, its representatives have a well-developed sense of speech and writing, as well as all other forms of communication. Many Virgos may choose to pursue a career as writers, journalists, and typists, but their need to serve others makes them feel good as caregivers, on a clear mission to help.

Virgo – the Disappointed Goddess Seeking goodness in humankind is the story of Virgo, and disappointment seems to be inevitable from their point of view. The first time they came from their cloud and jumped onto planet Earth, it felt like their mission is to use their existence for good, discovering ways of justice and purity in other people. Once they fail to find it too many times, Virgos will pull away, get lost, turn to substance abuse, or simply separate from other people to sit on the bench, criticize and judge.

 

 **[** 'alluring and allurable' **]**

 

**[15.46 P.M**

 

**mccullacutty:**

so...

i cant say if leo resmbles me or not

 

**DDADDS:**

Well, I certainly think you are arrogant

 

**mccullacutty:**

wow

thanks

 

**DDADDS:**

And self-confident

 

**mccullacutty:**

true

 

**pidge podge:**

definitely dramtic

 

**Musselman:**

Dramtic

 

**patallmatts:**

dramtic

 

**mccullacutty:**

dramtic

 

**DDADDS:**

Dramtic

 

**pantastic:**

Dramtic

 

**pidge podge:**

i thpught we were roasting lnce!!  
  


**DDADDS:**

We were but it seems you can't spell anymore.

 

**pidge podge:**

fuck y'all

 

**mcullacutty:**

naw

we love ya too gremlin!

 

**pidge podge:**

go fuck yourslef

 

**mccullacutty:**

dont you mean *yourself

 

**pidge podge:**

...

daddy!!!  
  


**DDADDS:**

What?

 

**pidge podge:**

why r you lettig lance say this to your favourite child!

 

**DDADDS:**

You're my favourite?

 

**pidge podge:**

fuck you

 

**DDADDS:**

Don't talk like that to your father, young lady

 

**pidge podge:**

ppppppppppffpppp

 

**DDADDS:**

೭੧(❛〜❛✿)੭೨


	5. Yurio VS Yuuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  mccullacutty:  
> but like yuuri is so adorable  
> he deserves victor
>> 
>> patallmatts:  
> true  
> but yurio is also adorable and he deserves otabek
>> 
>> DDADDS:  
> What?
>> 
>> Musselman:  
> Oh.  
> They're talking about Yuri on Ice!!!  
> With three exclamation marks.

**[pidge podge changed the group name to** 'yuri on cock' **]**

 

**[03.32 A.M]**

 

**pidge podge:**

so

i just binge watched the whole yuri on ice anime

it was great

 

**mccullacutty:**

ikr!!!  
  


**pidge podge:**

although it should be called >group name< if you know what i mean

 

**mccullacutty:**

its not yaoi pidgey

 

**pidge podge:**

yeah but it was THIS gay

 

**mccullacutty:**

perhaps but its what makes it great

 

**pidge podge:**

yurio is so adorbs

like a cat

 

**mccullacutty:**

excuse me

what?!

 

**pidge podge:**

don't tell me that you prefer yuri?

 

**mccullacutty:**

uh yea

hes the best

 

**pidge podge:**

uh no

he stole victor from yurio

 

**mccullacutty:**

he didn't STEAL him

victor simply were to gay for him

 

**pidge podge:**

he made it so they had to call him YURIO

he didn't even get to keep his name!

 

**mccullacutty:**

that was victors idea

wasnt it?

sooo

 

**pidge podge:**

you know what

i can't bother with you

bye

 

**mccullacutty:**

hah!

so you admit yuuri's best then?

i knew it

 

**patallmatts:**

i think you've goot it wrong lance.

yurio is better than yuri

 

**mccullacutty:**

you dont even spell his name right!!!

 

**patallmattts:**

i'm pretty sure it's spelled like that

 

**mccullacutty:**

no its not

 

**patallmatts:**

can you just tell me why you love yuuri then?

 

**mccullacutty:**

but like yuuri is adorable

he deserves victor

 

**patallmatts:**

true

but yurio is also adorable and he deserves otabek

 

**DDADDS:**

What?

 

**Musselman:**

Oh.

They're talking about Yuri on Ice!!!

With three exclamation marks.

 

**DDADDS:**

Yeah.

I saw that but like, WHY?

 

**Musselman:**

I have no idea.

Maybe ask Pidge she was the on ethat started this.

 

**pidge podge:**

did not!

 

**mccullacutty:**

sure

 

**patallmatts:**

sure

 

**pidge podge:**

what do ya have against meh?

 

**mccullacutty:**

all bout u

 

**patallmatts:**

most about u

 

**pidge podge:**

daddy

they're mean to me

 

**DDADDS:**

And whose fault is that?

 

**pidge podge:**

theirs

 

**DDADDS:**

Who started it?

 

**pidge podge:**

...

me

 

**DDADDS:**

There's your answer

 

**pidge podge:**

...

 

**mcullacutty:**

hah!

 

**pidge podge:**

fuck everybody

in their anus

rectum

asshole

 

**DDADDS:**

Language, little miss.

 

**pidge podge:**

it's because i'm short

isn't it?

 

**DDADDS:**

Of course not.

 

**pidge podge:**

THANK you.

 

**DDADDS:**

It's because you're a gremlin.

 

**mccullacutty:**

pffffft

 

**pidge podge:**

...

shut your ass lance

 

**mccullacutty:**

nah

my ass is open for anybody

;)

 

**pidge podge:**

DISGUSTING!

 

**mccullacutty:**

always pidgeon

 

**pidge podge:**

go die in a hole

 

**DDADDS:**

Stop fighting, kids.

 

**mccullacutty:**

'kay daddy

 

**pidge podge:**

fine daddy

 

**DDADDS:**

Thank you.

 

**mccullacutty:**

spank me daddy

 

**pidge podge:**

(⊙_◎)

 

**DDADDS:**

Lance, no.

 

**pidge podge:**

DISGUSTING

 

**mccullacutty:**

yeah

sure

kink shame me all you want

 

**pidge podge:**

we will

 

**DDADDS:**

We won't.

Because we love you even if you have dubious kinks.

 

**pidge podge:**

ehhhh

 

**mccullacutty:**

nawwww

you love me!

 

**pidge podge:**

well

love is a strong word

i would more say like

reluctancly tolerating

 

**DDADDS:**

Pidge.

 

**pidge podge:**

yeah daddy?

 

**DDADDS:**

Be kind to your brother.

 

**pidge podge:**

...

fiiiine

 

**DDADDS:**

Thank you.

 

**pidge podge:**

if he closes his asshole

 

**DDADDS:**

SMH

 

**pidge podge:**

oh!

daddy used an acronym!!!

what dya think daddy?

 

**DDADDS:**

That I should send all of you away for adoption.

 

**pidge podge:**

oh...

but not me right?

 

**DDADDS:**

Especially you.

 

**pidge podge:**

:(((((

 

**DDADDS:**

~(-◎ω◎)


End file.
